Twas the day after Christmas when all through the house
Voices of doom and gloom, targeted my spouse.
The shopping was waiting; the packing un-done
So much to do! And we had only one…
Only one chance to make use of our limited minutes
The car was still empty when we should be in it!
When out of my mouth I can hear all the crazies;
I know that the world is not mean, cruel and lazy;
I know that it all is just the words in my head,
But it’s a powerful story I can’t quite put to bed.
It wasn’t much different a few days before
When the fake tree we’d bought stood forlorn by the door,
A third in the stand and two thirds in the box,
“You’ve failed at festive,” the voice of shame mocks.
I start to head down a path, well-known and worn
Anxiety. Depression. I’m feeling forlorn
I should have, I could have. What’s wrong with me? Wait!
I can change focus. It’s not too late.
I think of all those who are facing real griefs,
Break-ups and fires and loss of beliefs,
It helps to remember, to put things in perspective,
But truth be told still I can’t quite be objective.
In order to find my way out I have learned
To be kind myself, though it seems so unearned.
I try gratitude, journaling, wine, and some cleaning
I try music and dancing . . . there’s a bit of light gleaming.
I keep stepping forward. I keep choosing life.
I send love to my friend who is not yet a wife
And so longs for belonging and doesn’t yet feel
The love she’s surrounded by though it’s so real.
These actions are small, but they help me return
To truths that so often I have to relearn
I am not perfect. And neither are you.
But there is just one thing that we need to do.
Just take the next step. The next one, that’s all.
It is enough. No matter how small.
And the Light will break through for us. It always does.
Because the force underneath all the crazies, it LOVES.
Here’s to thriving – and equity.