It’s funny, isn’t it? How hard it can be for some of us to figure out what we want? I find this to be an especially common problem for dedicated moms and educators. Why? Because we’ve been taught that being UN-selfish is what makes us so amazing.
Wanting something JUST FOR OURSELVES (or God Forbid actually seeking to get it!) can seem selfish. So we get out of practice with even knowing what we want.
Another contributing factor in our culture is that we’re taught to spend most of our time in our head. Emotions are viewed as suspect. Intuition is not to be trusted and the body is viewed primarily as a necessary container for living. None of above are seen as dependable sources of wisdom. (And I might add that this perspective leans a bit towards favoring masculine ways of knowing as opposed to feminine, but I digress.)
There's science to back up the importance of these alternative ways of knowing. I'm learning more about it all, but what I can say for sure already is that my life is WAY better now that I listen to all the parts of me, not just my (very overactive) rational mind.
Rational minds are good, but they can’t make good decisions without accurate information. And they miss a lot.
Because our bodies and the right side of the brain take in way more information per second than the logical, linguistic left side of our brain, the “logical thought only” perspective leaves us missing out on a whole lot of information that can help us figure out what we want, which is one of the first steps in moving towards a life we’ll really love—a life with meaningful purpose and a whole lot of delight on the side. Learning how to listen to my body’s wisdom is one of the best skills I’ve learned in the past few years.