A Call Of Kindness

Awake in the middle of the night, I found myself thinking of a client who had chosen an action step of taking a 5-minute walk outside each day.  

I had this image in my mind of her in a field – a midwestern corn field in early spring, still brown and wet from winter snows.  

It felt to me as if while she walked along, the wise, peaceful, loving part of her—what in my work with clients we often call the Inner Mentor—was embracing the part that works so hard just to survive her days. 

I had the sense that her Inner Mentor knew that the striving and hard work she was doing isn’t really needed.  There is another way.

Still, she offered a great big genuine THANK YOU to the part that’s trying so hard to do what it thinks is needed.  “Thank you.  I love you.  Thank you.  I love you.”

Love meets us where we are. 

In this case, it felt to me as Love was wrapping the so, so tired hardworking part of my client in a big hug of wind and sun and earth and sky and birds and winter seeds under the earth, waiting to burst open in new life. 

There was no requirement that she comes to a felt sense of peace, and stop stressing out and working so hard.  There was just gratitude, acceptance and love.  Right now.

So often, the most powerful thing, the most healing thing, the wisest thing we can do for our tired, sincere, often misguided, hard-working selves is just to say, “thank you, I love you.” 

I find that often when I practice gratitude and love towards myself, it leads me to more loving actions as well.  Do you find that happens with you?  When you feel loved, do you spread more love?

Long ago now, when I was finishing up my dissertation, asking my body to do so much – to stay up late, to manage a whole lot of stress, etc. — I started dreaming of nutritious soup.  Literally.  Regularly.  I dreamt of soup.  

At that time my typical pattern in times of stress was to eat more of the kinds of foods that aren’t particularly helpful to my body.  And if you had told me prior to that moment that I would be able to decrease my intake of gluten-laden foods, sugar, wine and dairy products in the middle of a particularly stressful time I would have said, “No way – that’s way too hard to do right now.”  But in this case, the call of kindness to myself was so clear that I was able to do it—as a gift to myself. 

And guess what?  I finished.  Being kind to my body did not derail me from my accomplishments.

Susan Hyatt in her book Bare – a good read if you struggle with body image or dieting—encourages her readers to ask a similar question when making food choices, “What feels like love?” 

Thank you.  I love you.  Thank you.  I love you. 

I hope you’ll take a few moments to offer thanks to your hardworking self.  And then ponder what feels like a step towards love, a step towards kindness.  And take it.

What feels like kindness?  What feels like love?

If you need help finding your way, shoot me an email.  I’d love to help.

Here’s to thriving and equity (on a path of gratitude, love and kindness.)

Deb