What’s yours to do?
Dear Courageous Thrivers,
Last week I shared 27 different ways to be an ally (thanks to Simone Grace Seol’s Instagram post). If you missed it, you can access it here.
I wonder:
Which ones resonated most for you?
And, relatedly, how are you deciding what actions are yours to take—and which aren’t—in this time when we are all being pulled in even more directions than usual?
I’ve been working on clarifying mine too. Writing to you all and working with clients keeps me honest!
I said a few weeks ago I’d share my decision about the May Day protests.
I didn’t go.
I felt somewhat uncomfortable with my decision, even though I made it thoughtfully and heartfully, because on the surface it seemed like I should be out there.
But what seemed true for me on that day was that it wasn’t mine to do.
I did some intense relational work that was much more micro on that day.
That’s what was mine.
Thank goodness, though, that going to protests was the work of many, many others who showed up all over the country. Yay! This is why we each need to listen to our inner guidance and put ourselves in places where we get both support and challenge to do our work.
My current areas of focus:
Focus One: Building alternatives to the loveless status quo.
Alternatives founded in the vision of Radical Self-Love, Beloved Community, and Beloved Economies.
Now, that’s a large, long-term goal, and could be vague enough to leave me doing nothing. But here’s what I know it means for me right now:
I’m hosting gatherings, going to gatherings, and reaching out to create and deepen relationships here in Baltimore. For example, after our Next Step Forward momentum session last Sunday, when we shared our next steps, mine was to send out an invitation for a sound bath gathering I’m hosting in July.
I prioritize taking action on issues that are local. Like today—I got a call from a teacher asking me to send a message to local politicians related to funding for schools. I did that as I sat down to write this—so thank you for being my accountability partners, even without knowing it!
I’m taking steps to connect with others around creating place-based, multi-faceted community spaces and businesses in Baltimore—not just online. It’s a return to the kind of vision for community Dave and I had 30+ years ago.
Focus Two: Teaching and empowering sensitive, empathetic white women—especially well-resourced white women.
To learn what we need to learn (without shame and perfectionism), so we can take action individually and collectively to harness the power and wealth we have access to.
To do so with joy and vitality, in creative, sustainable, and courageous ways.
These are my people.
This is my work.
One way I do this is through Next Step Forward, which you already know about. We talked about Beloved Community when we met last Tuesday, and it was rich and inspiring.
There’s also a lot of internal practicing I do myself—particularly self-compassion and self-love—because that’s where loving others and being courageous starts.
I’m doing a ton of boundary work so that I stop giving energy away in ways that don’t support the vision I believe in. (Back to therapy for some help. We don’t heal alone.)
To expand and deepen this work, I’m also starting a Substack newsletter titled White Women Waking Up, where I’ll wrestle with our shared histories and privileges.
And I am intentionally preparing myself to respond to situations that might (or do) cause me to freeze or stay silent when I should speak up.
Because that’s my nice, shy-girl go-to when I’m afraid or uncomfortable.
I did a training on how to respond to ICE and am now part of a Signal group of people who also did the training—people I can contact if something occurs where I am, and who can contact me for support if something occurs where they are.
I did another training with Braver Angels on how to have difficult conversations across party lines.
Here’s to thriving and equity,
Deb
P.S. In the U.S., tomorrow is the Fourth of July.
Like many holidays, it’s complicated for most of us. I don’t celebrate it at all anymore, but for years I did so uncomfortably. Whether you’re gathering to enjoy the day off or going to a protest—or something else—it’s a great day to read aloud with family or friends Frederick Douglass’s speech, “What, to the Slave, Is the Fourth of July?”