What would change in your life if you knew you were good?

Hello Courageous Thrivers,

I’m asking this question now because I see so many women stuck in self-doubt, anxiety, and “trying to get it right.”
And Lovely Ones—it’s not what the world needs right now.

Or ever.

It needs us. It needs you in all your amazing golden glory. Even now. Especially now.
Let’s create a new world together. One in which we all drop into our own goodness and live and love from there.

With that intro, I ask again:

What would change in your life if you knew you were good?

Not conditionally good. Like “you did a good job.”
Not talented or skilled good. Like “good at math,” or “good at soccer.”

At. Your. Core. Good.
The kind of good that comes from Love. The Divine. Wholeness.

I’m not asking you to believe this is true.
To be honest, it still sounds like blasphemy to many parts of me.

What I am inviting you to do is to experiment with the “what if”… and just see what comes up.

You’ll need a pause to start the experiment.

Take a few deep, slow breaths. In and out. In. And. Out. Maybe add a long sigh.

Drop waaaaay back into your body. Then even farther—into your core, your essence, your inner mentor. Whatever you call the part of you that’s in charge when you feel most like yourself.

Drop your awareness to wherever you feel that part of you to be.

Now imagine that in that Core of You… is just goodness.
That’s it. It’s all full of good.

What comes up? Do you see a color? Have a memory?
Does your body tighten or relax?

Just notice.

Then:
Look out from that core knowing-of-your-goodness…
What do you see when you look out into the messed-up world?

And what do you see when you look at your family or intimate others?
Your surly teenager? Your coworkers?

There’s no right or wrong answer. Just notice.

If you’re anything like me, at first you can’t even imagine that you are already good.
Perfectly imperfect, as some would say.

You might shake your head “no.” Hear your father or Sunday School teacher whisper,
“Well, that’s incredibly arrogant.”

Or your mind says:
“No, I should not feel that I’m good. There is so much suffering in the world. It’s wrong for me to believe I am good when I’ve even caused or benefited from that suffering—and I’m not doing enough to fix it.”

(Note: There may be actions for you to take. But for now—this is where those actions start.)

When I did this exercise, I had a gentle guide: fellow coach Sara Arey.
With her support, I got past all the inner gatekeepers—not with force, but by listening to their concerns and asking them for a little space to explore new possibilities.
I let them hang out as spectators, to watch the experiment and see how it went.

And then… I could feel it.

I could feel into the possibility that I am good at my core.

For me, the image that came to mind was like a hollow pipe filled with liquid gold.
Sometimes it seemed more solid—almost like a flaky golden candy bar.
Kind of like the inside of a Butterfinger, but more translucent (which is pretty funny, actually).

From that golden goodness, when I imagined sinking back into it and resting there, I could feel/see that believing I’m good wouldn’t make me arrogant or holier-than-thou.

Instead, that golden light of goodness would spread.

It would widen and widen, until more and more people—and other living beings—could enter that space and be surrounded by it.

There would be nothing they’d need to do to be in that space.

They wouldn’t have to behave a certain way, or like me, or believe in me.
They wouldn’t even have to believe in the space or feel the warmth of it—though they usually would.

They’d just be welcome.

Mind you, my belief in my own goodness would also mean I’d stand up for my worth and value.
I wouldn’t allow myself to be disrespected or mistreated.
Some people in the golden field would need to stay on the other side of healthy boundaries I’d create.

But there would be rest, nourishment, and healing in that space.
And from that rest and healing would grow connection, community, art, beauty, and laughter.

Wow, I thought.
Maybe believing I’m good—really good—at my core wouldn’t be such a dangerous or terrible thing after all?

I wonder if the same might be true for you.

If you try the experiment and hit some roadblocks, shoot me an email.
I’ll gladly reply with some support.

If you try it and have an ah-ha—I’d love to hear that too.

Here’s to thriving, and equity, and golden light sparkling in your heart,
Deb