Want to Change Your World? Try Redecorating.
A small reminder on my desk that learning often begins before we feel ready, and that beauty can hold us steady while we grow.
Hello Courageous Thrivers,
Want to change your world? Try redecorating.
I know. It doesn’t sound right. Except maybe to readers who are fans of Katherine North or Martha Beck, who probably already know the power of this tool.
Decorating is so superficial.
So materialistic.
So unimportant compared to the state of the world right now.
Rearranging furniture, clearing out clutter, and bringing in some beauty don’t quite carry the weight of these issues.
Except maybe these things aren’t as disconnected as you think.
Especially if part of what you need to make a difference in the world right now is to get yourself unstuck.
That’s what I’ve learned over the past couple of years as I’ve experimented with the relationship between my outsides and my insides. My space and my work. I’ve learned that appearance, my own appearance and that of the spaces I regularly inhabit, has an inexplicably significant relationship to the work I want to do in the world.
My outsides can fuel my interior resources to do what I feel called to do. They can give me energy and help me dream bigger and act braver. Or they can drain my energy and feed my tendency toward pessimism and despair.
So when I woke up one Sunday inspired to rearrange my office, I knew it was a good sign. A sign that things are shifting.
When Change Moves From the Inside Out
Have you ever noticed that when someone changes their life in some big way, they often change their wardrobe, home, or get a new haircut too?
It’s as if the change worked its way from the inside to the outside.
But it can also work the other way.
Sometimes we can help welcome in a change we’re hoping for just by clearing out our closets or rearranging our living spaces.
Letting Your Space Tell the Truth
Are you a white person working actively to challenge your unconscious biases, or to raise your kids to be anti-racist? You might start by reviewing the images in your home. Are people of color represented in positive ways? Or at all? If not, be intentional about bringing something in that does. I learned this idea from Dr. Amanda Kemp’s Transform Your Hidden Bias training, which is now available online.
Are you letting go of a relationship with someone who, as it turns out, couldn’t support you on your journey to the amazingness you’re meant for? You might turn your bed around and buy new sheets. Or reclaim one of the special items you left at that former partner’s house and bring it back to your home, where it can be honored and treasured as it deserves.
Have you suffered a significant loss or disappointment? Perhaps you’re ready to let go of something that sends your mind toward wishing for what isn’t instead of accepting what is. You don’t have to feel amazing right now in this reality that isn’t what you wanted. Just make space for the possibility that the next chapter might be beautiful too.
Do you want to change your job but can’t do it just yet? You could bring in, or uncover, one item you will see every day that reminds you of the job you want, the one you’re heading toward.
Making Room for What’s Coming
In a time of transition when you don’t know what’s next, and aren’t we all, try removing a few things that served you well but are connected to a chapter of your life that’s closing. Don’t fill the space just yet. Leave an empty shelf or drawer or a blank wall that invites what’s coming to show up.
As you can see, this redecorating process doesn’t require approval by a designer. It’s not about impressing anyone else. It’s about making space for who you are becoming. Giving her or them some encouragement to come out of hiding.
And by the way. That thing you want with all your heart? That new way you want to be in the world? There’s incredible wisdom in the wanting.
Are you ready to follow that wisdom? To let it guide you toward the life you are meant to live?
If you are, then I invite you to make a commitment and take action.
What tiny, or big, change could you make to your living space or workspace this coming weekend that would remind you that you’re on a path to something amazing, even if you don’t know exactly what it is yet? Or don’t quite believe it.
What tiny, or big, change could you make to support yourself in letting go of a chapter of your life that has closed or is closing?
Or maybe you’d like to focus on something that reminds you that humanity might be on a path to something amazing. What represents the path you want to see us take as a collective? Dream like Dario Amodei, who wrote about how AI could transform the world for the better in his essay Machines of Loving Grace. That doesn’t mean ignoring the possibility that we might make other choices, as he explores in The Adolescence of Technology.
You’re in charge of you. You don’t have all the choices you may want, but this action you can choose.
Want some accountability?
Send me a picture or description of the spot you’re going to redecorate. I’ll check in to see how it’s going and celebrate with you when you’re done.
And remember, even if you live alone, you’re not alone. Remember David Whyte’s poem, and last week’s post. Everything is waiting for you.
Here’s to thriving, and equity!
Deb
Reflection:
Real questions asked by my team:
How do I use my space to support anti-racist or justice-oriented values?
This is an idea from the Decrease Your Hidden Racial Bias training mentioned above. Take a look around your home at what’s on the walls (photographs, paintings etc), what kinds of art objects you have, etc. See if it represents a range of humans and cultures. If not, start intentionally looking to bring in new items over time. Also, notice if any objects or images support a stereotype, if so, remove them. This is a practice you can do over and over, kind of like Spring cleaning.
What if I’m afraid to let go of things tied to a chapter that’s ending?
Well, you don’t have to first of all. You’re in charge of your life. But one thing I’ve found helpful is the practice of holding the object and feeling the gratitude you have for what it once meant in your life. Maybe you also take a photo of it. Or create a goodbye ritual of some kind if that’s something you like to do. If it’s a card from someone you might intentionally receive all the love and let go of the card. I also like to create keepsake containers that help me to limit the number of sentimental items I save. But, again, you get to decide what works for you.