If you’re new to the Thriving for Equity community—especially if you landed here because you recently purchased Feel Better Do Better—welcome! I’m so delighted that you’re here and hope you find these weekly reflections to be supportive of your journey to figure out how to do your big work in the world with more joy and delight.

Of course, I believe deeply inbox sanctity, so if you ever decide these messages are turning into clutter rather than nourishment, you can unsubscribe below (which I suspect you already know, but just want to add my guilt-free permission slip. I trust you to do you!)

And now onto this week’s musings…

How delightful is this heart of love that showed up in a tree stump in the park by my house?

I mean. Really.

Talk about available pleasure right there quite literally under my feet!

I’ve been thinking a lot about pleasure this week since I knew I’d be connecting in-person with Tamara Robinson who wrote about pleasure practices in Feel Better Do Better.

And this week I want to share one of the life-transforming truths I’ve come to believe and experience as true.

Pleasure is a powerful path to productivity and power.

One of my mentors used the phrase “pendulating towards pleasure” as a way to talk about this reality. And I love it as an image.

She said the more we are going to do hard things—like choosing to enter into places of suffering (in ourselves or in the world) or challenging structural oppression, or building a business, or being a parent of a teenager—the more we need to lean just as far into pleasure.

We need to pendulate towards pleasure.

That’s how we make sure our work stays filled with love.

That’s how we ensure that our bodies can continue to sustain and support us.

That’s how we spread delight instead of sorrow and disillusionment.

And it's an incredible way to find the energy we need to do what matters most - and keep doing it.

One of my clients recently told me that they have realized during our work together that they don’t have to perpetually suffer in order to make the world a better place. (YAYAYAY!!! This is why I love my work!)

Yes, there can be some suffering and sacrifice needed at times. But that’s very different than living a life of perpetual suffering.

And I never have found a way to suffer enough to make someone else feel better. Have you?

But when I prioritize pleasure and find myself filled with joy and delight? It naturally spills over to benefit the people around me, and other living beings too!

It seems counterintuitive in our push-harder, nose-to-the-grindstone culture, but I encourage you to experiment with infusing your life and work with more pleasure and see what happens to your productivity.

Here’s to thriving for equity! And enjoying life while we do!

Deb

P.S. Does connecting to pleasure and joy feel like one more impossible burden on your long list of “to dos”? I get it. Hit reply to this email and tell me what’s up. I’ll respond personally with resources and ideas to help you get started on the path to feeling better.

P.P.S If you’re ready to up your game around that kind of pleasure, check out Tamara’s Passion Pleasure Quickies to help you address your greatest concern in Sex, Love and Relationships. (NOTE: if you lean towards the modest side of things related to sensuality, you might want to check this link when you have some privacy.)

Tamara, Dave and I had a delightful time hanging out at Spirits of Mt. Vernon in Baltimore on Tuesday for our second book event. The event came about because the owner, Vicky, invited us and we decided it sounded like fun – which it was. One of the very best parts was meeting the lovely people who stopped by before the event officially started and left with a book – or three – and seeing others make new connections after we finished the “talk” part of the book talk.

Pleasure as Power?